A wedding, some dancing and a lot of merry!

Its a journey to which I have been a part of. In a very small, tiny but (I would like to consider) important measure. Last weekend, one of my closest friend H got married to D. I have mentioned about them here.

The wedding had all the ingredients. A party , mehendi, sangeet, the wedding and the reception. I can go on and on describing it all, but there are a few things which I have to mention here.

- I danced away to glory on many days and had a lot of fun. I have never felt this happy for anyone in such a long time. I can vouch today that it would be very difficult to find nicer people than H & D.. and even more so as a couple.

- Everyone who came to the wedding had a lot of fun. Everyone was smiling / dancing/ laughing etc. I could see and feel why weddings are called joyous occasions. Literally.

- I felt totally welcome, so much so that I felt I belong there. The warmth of the families was felt by everyone who attended the wedding. I was unceremoniously reprimanded in full view of public by H's dad for being an hour late for the Sangeet. ( In my defence, I was following Gujju Standard time, and I did not miss anything :) )

- H & D have been working hard on organising everything about their wedding for the past one year. From cards, to the 'setup of the place' to the caterers to logistics.. everything. The 5 day event was flawless. Executed to perfection. It was classy in design, look and feel. D is a designer par excellence and from wedding clothes to to decorating the place to the cards, she designed it all. I am going to attach three pictures here.. first one of the wedding place, second of the mandap at night or rather evening time and third of the reception. I am not going to even try describing the beauty, elegance and panache.

- Finally, here is wishing them a great life together, forever!

Crossroad

I stand today at a junction in life,

where important decisions have to be taken.

Where the past has to be shrugged off,

and it may not be necessarily for a better furture.

He scribbles on a borrowed piece of paper which has Rama Stationery store printed in small at the top. His handwriting has periodic wavy pattern to it. He thinks it is because of the to and fro movement of the train. May be.

He sits alone in the compartment. A boy, around 12-13 years of age stands at the door, his body half inside the compartment, half outside.

There is vast emptiness around me,

but my mind feels cluttered.

I don't know to where I belong, to the emptiness or to the clutter,

or may be its half here and half there.

He laughs at his own desperate attempt to create poetry. He should stop trying to do things that he isn't good at. He tells himself.

Friday Musings

Om Shaanti Om ...I managed to catch that this week. Total timepass I tell you. Shahrukh had a reason to overact (I do like him, and his acting occasionally) and he did that pretty well. I enjoyed the song with 31 stars and was so excited when it was onscreen. I am such a fimli guy :) The music is pretty nice and I have been humming 'Om shaanti Om' and 'Ajab si' songs..and ofcourse how can I forget Deepika Padukone..

I have to let you in on a secret. I have a knack of spotting talent you see. I spotted Deepika Padukone 2-3 years ago and predicted that she would make it big. She was in my top 5 long ago.. oh and that is the other secret.. my top 5. I have this top 5 list which is periodically updated.. right now there is Kiera Knightley, Vidya Balan, Deepika Padukone, Asin and Shreya. And I tell you what they made it to my list long ago.. Kiera with Bend it like Beckham (long before the Pirates series or Arthur). Vidya balan made it there with Parineeta, Deepika with her Close Up ads, Asin- much before her Gajini movie and Shreya.. well yeah.. she made it there after Shivaji only..

I take my top 5 list very seriously. I am planning a trip to London in the next year.. hopefully and one of my agenda items it to track and meet Kiera Knightley. So I am searching for her calender and ways to meet her. If any of you could help.. I would be eternally grateful :). I learnt that Vidya Balan was a second cousin of a cousin of my friend. I did convince my mom to talk to my friends mom if she could talk to Vidya Balan or Vidya Balan's mom.. but I guess it got lost at the first or the second cousin stage, I think. But hey, I did try.

So you see, the top 5 is a priviledged place to be :)

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I had mentioned two posts ago that I would be attending Archie's wedding or rather reception this week. I did that yesterday. And it was fun. Well, not in the literal sense of fun but I had a different experience. The wedding was in Chembur in the Murugan temple (Or the Madarasi temple as the Autowallahs call it). This gave me an opportunity to visit this temple, something I had been wanting to do for a long time now. Anywho, the interesting part of the evening was that there was only one person that I knew in the entire gathering, and that was the bride. I had met Archie through blog and orkut and her circle of people had never intersected my circle of people and hence I was alone in that hall. And boy, what fun it was. It was a typical tam-bram crowd which had gathered there

- There was a group of people of elderly disposition (see I am polite ) sitting in the rows behind me, and I heard the quintissential Tam brahm names - Raghu thatha, Kittu mama and Ramamurthy uncle. Guess only an 'Ambi mama' was missing.

- I heard a mami telling her husband at 7.45pm ' Vango, kalambalam, naazhi aachu'

- I saw a group of mama's discussing the some article in 'The Hindu' and politics and staunchly supporting the BJP

- Some maami's sitting in a row just ahead of me had started their 'maami' work. 'Adhu Lalitha ponnu thaanai. avullukku pakkaralaa'. (But I tell you, weddings are great places to meet members of the opposite sex.. personal experience you see. )

- A mama was telling his group.. 'Maami, pannarai dosai odai bettera irukku'.

But something was missing.. it wasn't feeling complete till I heard one of the women say- 'Kolangal paathelono' . Thats it. How come a gaggle of women and no mention of soap operas or rather mega serials. I silently clenched my fist and muttered 'adhu!'

I had now had a almost complete tam-bram social event experience.. (well ofcourse I missed the filter coffee among a few other elements..but it was as good as it gets kinda thing)

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Tomorrow, saturday, I am going river rafting. So I am looking at an action packed weekend. Hope its fun. If I get some pics, I will put them up.

Being 'cool'

So this is how it feels to be independent. Having a house to yourself. No one to tell you how to keep it. No one tell you that you need to fold the newspaper back once you have read it or that you can't walk all around the house in your shoes. No one tell you that all things need to have a place to keep. No one to tell you, why you bought that extra pair of shoes or why you are gorging away on those potato wafers lying on the sofa. Shreya wondered why her mother couldn't be cool.

She had called home after buying a new leather clutch purse for herself with her first salary. It was a touch expensive and was worried how her mother would react. But her mother did not pass any comment on the price. Nothing at all. Shreya hung up the call, but was surprised. Her mom seemed excited that she had bought something for herself with her own money. That was it. It was her own money now. Shreya suddenly felt liberated.

--*--

Shreya had settled into her new job, new city and new environs comfortably over the past 6 months. But one thing that she had not settled into was sharing her apartment with her current flatmate. She could not understand why, the newspaper could not be folded back after it was read or why one could not remove their shoes before walking all over the house. The fans and lights would always be left on and the sofa would contain food pieces once her flatmate had finished snacking. Shreya wondered, why her flatmate couldn't be cool.

Anniversary - Another day

Today I celebrate my blog's second anniversary. Thank you. Thank you ! So I guess it is a time for a lot of reflection and contemplation. (So well, whats new about that on this blog, right?)

If you ask me today, why I write a blog, the honest answer is I don't know. May be I like a parallel existence. I think I started it because it was cool and quite a few of my friends were doing it. And as I started to surf, I figured out that blogs like people have a character and it needn't be an online diary. So, as I did some thinking about the identity of my blog, 'In perpetual transition' came to me instantly. I am that and a lot more. However, the name of the blog, Have-no-fullstops, is inspired by a book by Sir Mark Tully of the same name ' Have No full stops in India' which is a collection of 10 essays on India. I read that in my class 10, I think. It was then that I was drawn to non-fiction and I have remained a non-fiction loyalist ever since. Have-no-fullstops also symbolises what I believe in - there are no fullstops, some commas, some exclamation marks, some hyphens but full stops.. naa..

Anyways, if you guys think that I am going to say that its been one long journey over two years, where I have grown up, changed , matured, developed a world view and all that. Sorry. I am a little more pessimistic. Yes my life stage has changed and hence my experiences and world views have accordingly. But I do not think that I have changed, grown up, matured and all that. Its not that I have been perfect or totally mature that I did not have the need to grow up or mature further. Its just that I have stagnated at the place where I was and I still am.

Look at the themes in my post. I am an eternal optimist, or so I would like to believe, yet there is a distinct strand of melancholy. There are so many different forms of relationship that I experience first hand or see people in - like husband wife, boss reportee, brother sister, best friends, father son, and yet I have explored only one of them boy friend - girl friend. I feel that the posts in the first year of my blogs existence had some form of energy, which I guess, fizzled away. I think it is a reflection of whats happening in the real world too, I guess.

So, I set out on a mission to bring about change. Get my life to be more active, break the routine, the monotony. I made plans to do one new thing this year, or see two new places, read three new authors and so on. But every time I took two steps forward, I retraced three. And in these tries, you learn a harsh reality. The biggest and the toughest battles are those which you fight with yourself. And in contrast to this, it is so simple to overcome the biggest challenge the external world throws up in your direction.

But you know what. The very fact that I have realised what battles I need to fight within myself, is the first step. The fact that I am willing to fight means that I have a foot in the door, already. And trust me, this is just a comma, or at max a semi colon and if that has to change, it will be to an exclamation mark! :)

So much for an anniversary celebration, right? There have been a few of you I guess who have been reading my blog since its creation and a few who have hopped on somewhere in between and a few who just peek in occasionally and a few who have dropped off on the way. Well, whoever you guys are, and from wherever you are - Thank you.

By the way, I have some great news. Through this blog, I met a great friend and my circle of people expanded by one more nice person. And coincidentally, she is getting married this week. So 'Archie' a.k.a '@' - here is wishing you a very happy married life!

Friday Musings - You feel good?

What follows is a personal rant. Be warned!

Hi Ravi,

I know that you are quite busy these days and the next two to three months are going to be even more hectic, with almost little time to breathe. I also know that you are entering what is possibly the most challenging project you have handled in the past year and the expectation to deliver better than ever is even higher. And, that is the exact reason why I am writing to you today.

Your mind is already preparing for the next project and for the hectic few months that lay ahead. However, today I want you to pause, albeit even for half an hour to look back at your previous project and the past two months, and feel good about it.

Your job currently, if I may simplify , is to work on the big opportunities or the big problems, do some analysis, come up with recommendations and then sell your recommendations to everyone within the organisation. And, you have been reasonably good at this. However, given the fact that you work on the big opportunities or problems, your recommendations have a natural traction and people are willing to listen to you, even upto the top management level. They may not buy it, but they are willing to listen to it. This is not to belittle your efforts or to say that you have had it easy so far. I am just providing this perspective to highlight your recent achievement.

The last project however was your first external project. You had to not only understand the market, the competition, new categories, new business quickly but also the client's business and their organisational priorities and then make strategic recomendations. This time there was no natural traction for your recommendations. Infact, this time you had to compete with one other big organisation and an equally capable team, if not better, for winning the project. And you won. Congratulations!

Among the many good things that you should take away, the most important thing is that you were pushed out of your comfort zone and were required to adapt within almost no time which you did really well. So in the future, remember that you have demonstrated the agility to respond to change, and, whenever you feel a little apprehensive (like right now) , think of this.

Changing gears, I do have a big crib. You really really need to learn to accept appreciation and enjoy the good times. Philosophically you are stoic, and nothing wrong with that. When things are tough, you have a great attitude and look at the positive side. But then why, when the things are good, that you forget to cherish, celebrate and feel good. Remember how when you called up your friend for congratulating her on her achievement, she played it down to the level of rubbishing the recognition, that you felt let down for feeling so happy and excited for her. Don't you think others also feel the same way when they talk to you? Ok, you ain't that bad, but still you are no great either. Accepting gracefully is also as art and makes people feel great, just like giving thoughtfully does.

It is difficult to change but not impossible. Infact it just requires one thing - willingness to change. Are you willing?

Good luck on your next two three months for it is going to be one hell of a roller coaster ride.
Regards

Karthik

Connoisseur's Abodes in Madras

Guess I am back with more Chennai tales, and this time with some gastronomic ones :)

I suddenly seemed to be discovering brilliant food places in Madras that I am thrilled. So much is my penchant for finding out new places (in the limited vegetarian world) that I put a simple condition that I will meet you only if we go to a place that I haven't been before.

I had mentioned about 'Kafeoke' - the coffee bar with 'karaoke'. I was there with two of my B-school buddies. This place is pretty good. It is on First seaward road in Thiruvamyur and it is a beachside bungalow on stilts overlooking the brown sands and the blue expanse.You have a couch where you can lounge around, one huge screen where everyone can see you sing. This is the Western zone. There is another separate room behind sound proof doors for Hindi and Regional language songs. There is a sit out where you can sip your coffee, oblivious to all the singing happenning inside and just watch the waves try and climb the land.

We tried our hand at singing. The first attempt at 'American pie' gave us a score of 8/100. Then I moved to my so-called forte and attempted 'Roja Jaaneman' from Roja.. and scored 36/100. So there it is. I am now officially a better singer of Hindi Songs and hence being in Bombay I shall take my shot at Bollywood. Watchout Indian Idol, Voice of India, Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Dha Nee Saa and all such reality shows, here I come! Woo hoo!

Anywho, I was pretty pleased with myself with my effort. We met the owner of the place Swapna Abraham. She introduced herself to us and took us around the place. She is a leading gospel singer, having recorded over 18 albums. Now she runs this place which also has a recording studio. She takes singing classes too, for those who are interested. Here is her website.

She sang Careless Whispers on the Karaoke.. and whoa.. that was something. I am not gonna try and describe her singing but she scored 82/100. That should say it all :)

The place is done up pretty well and has a relaxed ambience where one just lounges around. Also while you are there, do not miss the omelette sandwitch. :). The food is not expensive at all and the cost per song on karaoke is Rs. 30. After all, how expensive can Chennai get! (except the auto rickshaws!)

Sorry, do not have pictures of this place.
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Amethyst needs no introduction to Madras. It is one of the many heritage buildings that has been converted to an art gallery. This one has a coffee shop and a restaurant too. The art gallery has designer stuff and is pretty-priced but wares that one gets over here is phenomenal. The food is not too expensive here. The best part about this place is that you can sit around and people will not bug you or disturb you. Waiters wont hang around you, making it uncomfortable for you so that you leave soon. Infact, you can go sit there, and till you decide to disturb the waiter, he will not disturb you. :)

Evenings and nights are the best times to go to Amethyst. If the weather is pleasant you can sit out in the verandah or even under the trees in the open. I have been to Amethyst three times in the last month itself :). One can just take a book, ipod, laptop or just decide to sit in one corner and stare at nothingness. It is a great place to catch up, even with oneself.

I was there yesterday catching up with my engineering college friends. The food is good. I wouldn't say exceptional for I've definitely had better. But put the entire experience together it is seriously one place one would enjoy lounging. Here is a picture of me at Amethyst. ( Poor quality as it is taken in my cell phone.)

I know its difficult to take eyes off the 'center of attraction = me' :P but just look at the background and see how the place has been done up. Don't you just wanna go there.. like right now?
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An finally, every meal has to end with a desert. So obviously a post on places to eat has to end with a post on a 'Desert Bar'. Sathyam Theatre or rather Sathyam Multiplex is like a landmark in this city for decades. But the new desert Bar in Sathyam complex called 'Ecstasy' is just that, pure 'Ecstasy'. This place was recommended to me by my friend, and the three of us decided to check this place out. We had kept enough space for desert.

First look at this place and we are like WOW. Sleek, sophisticated futuristic and a great combination of white walls, dark wood and leather sofas. The place is inviting in itself. It is posh , yes that the word , posh.

We look at the deserts displayed and we choose Tiramisu, lemonart and Crepes with Hazelnet sauce. We take a few snaps of the place and await our deserts. It finally arrives with home-made or rather shop-made ice cream. One bite into the desert and there is sereneness. The world is at peace. If you have seen Ratatouille movie, where the critic Anton Ego, remembers his mother, childhood and all innocence when he has the first bite of 'Ratatouille'. It was just that.

Yes I am exaggerating, but you should have seen us. The three of us sat there giggling, gushing and devouring, savouring the deserts. We were like a three year olds who had just discovered the existence of chocolate. The deserts were not too sweet. They were just right. They had the right balance of sweetness to tickle your tastebuds instantly and a brilliant after taste that ensured that I did not drink even water for the next half hour.

The chef is Michael Besse of international fame. Some enquiries later I found out that he has been around the world in many big hotels in different countries. I could not speak to him this time around, but next time, I will try and do so. I would very highly recommend this place to all and sundry. It is a wee bit expensive, but hey do pamper your taste buds once. A connoisseur's abode, you wouldn't regret it.

Guess, these days when everything is reduced to a come-wait-eat-go format, I am a sucker for a fine dining experience. I would love if you guys could recommend places that I can check out. A fine experience is all I ask for.

Travel and Learning 2

Week 2 passed off uneventfully. Research went on well. I took a day off in Madras and drove to Mahabalipuram with a friend. We left around 12 noon and reached fisherman's cove at 1.15ish. The drive was as scenic as ever. It had rained and hence the roads looked washed. The air was moist and the greenery seemed to have got a fresh coat of life. The very sight of the beautiful expanse of infinite blue just beyond the brown sun burnt sand and the small patches of green coconut groves lifted my already soaring spirits to new high.

At fisherman's cove resort we wanted to do the catamaran ride where they would take us on a catamaran into the sea for around a kilometer or two and drop you there with life jackets on. (For folks who have seen Anjana song in Yuva with Kareena and Vivek Oberoi or the Aazhithai Yezhuthu in Tamil with Trisha and Siddharth, this song was filmed in Fisherman's cove and the catamaran ride is the same one that I am talking about). Unfortunately the sea was rough and no boats were venturing into the sea. Later that evening when we came back home, we figured out that the particular day that we chose to go for the catamaran ride was the day when the moon was closest to the earth; and hence the rough sea conditions. Now imagine the odds of choosing one day out of 365 days and getting it on the same day that the moon decides to be 'chuddi-buddies' with earth.

This has led me to an intriguing thought and hence I am starting a contest. I would like to hear from you guys what is 'that' one( or more) situation which you felt would just not happen 'coz the odds of it happenning were not even imaginable. But 'that' happenned. I hope I am clear here. You could mail/ comment about your incidents. There is a prize at the end of this contest. I have the sole discretion of deciding the winner( and yes, I am allowed to select myself as the winner!)

Anywho, I was in Bangalore for the weekend and on Sunday morning I went for a drive and decided to drive to the other end of the city. On my way back, I entered a No Entry road and was promptly caught by the cop. He asked me to show me my driving license. I stepped out of the car with my dad to talk to him. He saw me wearing an Infosys T Shirt and my dad wearing a TCS T shirt. ( Thanks to my brother who participates in hazaar competitions and all inter collegiate competitions in Bangalore are sponsored by software companies who dole out freebies). He glanced at our T shirts, made a rhetorical comment ' Infosys', smiled and said ' be careful next time' and let me off :). I was ready to pay the fine of 300 bucks for making a mistake, but well, I was let off with a warning. :)

Back in the car, my dad was telling me that the respect for Infosys and Wipro in Bangalore is very high, for the phenomenal job creation. And I guess I would agree. The top 3 IT companies, TCS , Infosys and Wipro are together creating one lakh jobs this year. These three alone employ 2 lakh people. Add all IT companies, IT enables services and the employment in the economy due to IT industry like cab services, drivers, security etc etc etc. The multiplier effect is phenomenal. I recently read an article which criticised the industry of being at the lower end of value chain like call centers and author called the Indian BPO workers cyber coolies. You know what, if by being at the lower end of the value chain I can create the employment that this industry is creating today, I would be more than happy to be there. I know of a family where the father was a priest in the local temple earning 4500-5000 a month. They struggled to make their son study engineering. My uncle had helped the son prepare for the entrance exams and interviews in IT companies and he got a job in the first company itself. The starting salary was 15000 a month. The entire family turned up the next day at my uncles place with a basket of fruits/sweets/ gifts etc. Their joy was something to see. THey knew that their life had changed forever and for the better.

The market forces will ensure that at the bottom of the value chain, I innovate or find a niche to stay on when competition comes my way or I will perish. I will also slowly start moving up the value chain once I acquire expertise. By branding the entire force as cyber coolies who do routine mechanical no brainer work and hence destined to doom is completely unacceptable.

I have been ranting quite a bit. Moral of the story, Please wear Infosys T shirts while driving in Bangalore :)

Now I am back in Bombay and back to work in my office seat. Suddenly life has become a routine (within a day) and I am feeling uneasy. Guess I am a nomad at heart and my thrills lie on the roads that in cubicles.

In the meanwhile here are a few pictures from Mahabs taken on my cell phone. So please excuse the quality, but do admire the beaches!

Travel and Learning

This has to be one of the best parts of my job. I get to meet people from different walks of life, in different parts of the country. Rural,urban, metros, small towns, men, women, kids, families and so on. My meeting is not just a Hi-hello kind of meeting, but I spend a few hours at their place, understanding their lives better, their dreams , their aspirations, hopes, worries among other things.

Over the last one year I have met and lived with families in the villages of Andhra Pradesh, 'dehat' in Uttar Pradesh, affluent families, lower middle class families in Bombay, Hyderabad, Delhi, Bangalore, Pune and Chandigarh. I am intrinsically a person who loves to have conversations. I talk to cab drivers, auto rickshaw- wallahs, paan wallahs on any topic under the sun. So this part of my job, where I get to 'live the lives' of people, albeit for half -a -day/ one day from such diverse backgrounds, gives me a huge, huge kick.

I am in the midst of such a trip where I am traveling to Mumbai, Chandigarh and Madras to meet people for the current research. The single biggest thing that I found in my current trip and from all the previous researches confirms what I have read about so much. 'we are a Nation in transition'. Its not that people in the villages never wanted progress before, or small town folks never wanted to make it big in the metros and the people in the metros never wanted to ape the cities in foreign shores.

But what I find now, is that there is a palpable excitement in the common man. They feel that progress is tangible and realisable in the not-so- distant future. They are hopeful about their future. Cynicism with the political class is still as prevalent as anytime, but more and more people are now asking and demanding what is their right - a chance to make their life better, to progress, and they are willing to work towards it.

The single biggest focus of every family I have met in the last one year is to provide their kids with English medium education. Some Villagers are moving to towns for a government school or convent education. The parents have changed their professions from farmers to daily wage earners to shopkeepers just so that their kids can attend a good school and have a bright future.I have met only a small section of people, may be 100 or so in the last one year, but when you get the same pattern throughout, you can be assured that you are onto something bigger.

I wish, if I may say, I have a dream ,that every citizen of this country being literate and having studied atleast upto class 10. And I am like every one of the people I met, hopeful. It is realisable in the next 20-25 years. Am I cynical? Yes. Somewhat. However, I rather translate this wish into practical positive action that be an arm-chair commentator.

Another underlying theme that comes across these researches is the pride in India and the new emerging self confidence. Some say that it is only a matter of time before we regain our rightful place in the world and nothing can stop us. It is here that I do not agree.

I love the passion in people. How I wish that we have a leader of great stature and statesmanship, who could channelize all this passion and energy into a vision and build a resurgent India. I guess, this is the one thing we lack today. As I look around, I see few leaders and no statesmen. One who can conjure up a dream, build it into a vision, sell it to the people, energise them and take the country forward. I do not think we need one person. Each section can have their own statesmen. As long as they have a common vision and a shared dream it will work just great. Democracy.

Sorry I digress here. I can talk forever on the topics of business, society, government, public policy,economics and the 'khichidi' of this.

Anyways, the point where I disagree is that we have a rightful place in this world which should be given to us. We do not have any rightful place. The only righful place is the place where we want to be and for that we need to work hard. Really hard.It will not be given to us on a platter.

The part which I fear (I have commented on this in Mahogany's blog) is the fact that this new found self confidence should not turn in over confidence and arrogance. we have not even achieved the tip of the so called iceberg of development. There is a long long way to go and we need to keep going on. While pride in our achievements is required, smugness is an unwanted guest. Its in our interest to stay humble of our achievements and realistic about the long road ahead.

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Switching gears, I landed in Chandigarh airport and drove to my hotel. I fell in love with the city on first sight. And yes, the first sight was from the plane when I saw a beautifully planned, neatly ordered city. Over two days, as I drove around the city, the broad roads, wide avenues and arcades, lush green trees, neatness deified, orderly driving all put together just wowed me. The sector 17 market is the biggest 'plaza' or city center I have ever seen in any city.

The city is neatly planned with rectangular sectors and each sector having its own market which is self contained with a post office, bank, grocery stores, pharmacy and other stores. It was the city Nehru took personal interest in designing and building. His dream of building a city that was unfettered by the past and a representation of the New India has been successful, I would say.

However, after the initial euphoria wore off, some things came to my notice. Most of the sectors and their markets are similar. There seems to be little novelty across sectors and their markets. Chandigarh is the capital of two states and a union territory by itself. So the number of government offices in that one city is phenomenal. And hence the number of government quarters is also big. And hence similar looking buildings :). Also, the city reminds me a lot of the socialist era where government built everything. One example to my mind is the markets in each of the sectors which has buildings with fixed size shops allotted. Imagine if the entire area was to be converted to a mall or a shopping arcade by private parties. Each market/ mall would vie to attract the crowd by novel designs, shops, entertainment and so on.

Having said all of this, to me Chandigarh represents the fact that we do have the capability of making great plans and executing them with excellence and at massive scale (that of the size of city). It is one city where I would want to go back again an maybe again and again. :)

pssss:I also got a chance to go to Kapil Dev's restaurant for dinner one night. The food was good, ambience nice and it was filled with pictures of Kapil Dev with many of the stars of the era. For a cricket buff, this was neat. There was one picture that will be forever etched in my memory. Kapil Dev lifting the Prudential Cup in 1983. I was a year old then, but I have heard innumerable times about the significant that victory was for us from cousins, parents, relatives and friends. It inspired Sachin Tendulkar, and gave a generation, their heroes.

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I was at the Chandigarh station which was filled with countless pigeons and mynahs chirping away. It was a orangish yellow hue created by the setting sun. The sun light filtered through the eucalytups trees behind the platform. The station was also not every big. Only two platforms and very neatly maintained. It was picture perfect. We (me and my colleagues) were greeted by a swank train that rolled into the platform.

I generally take overnight trains. Atleast off late that has been the case. I do not remember taking Shatabdi in the recent past. I entered my compartment to find it ultra cool. The seats were reclinable , big and totally comfortable. Each seat also had its own plug point which had square holes for foreign appliances. The overhead stowaway where we placed our suitcases were made of fibre glass giving the compartment a slick look. The service was nice. We were served with refreshments and three course meal and the food was good too.

I had the movie Blood Diamonds on my laptop which we saw and thanks to plug point, the battery never ran out :). Oh and btw, there was full cell network connectivity throughout the journey and as I have GPRS activated on my cell, I was connected to the net, surfing through and through. Unbelievable. I also was on Google talk and had a few conversations.

I am so totally impressed by the convenience. If you do have a chance to make train trips, do not miss them. I am pretty nostalgic about train journeys as I had written earlier here.

---------
In Delhi, we checked in to the company guest house by around 11 and after a some TV and small talk we crashed. I had my flight to Madras at 9.30 and was to leave the guest house by 8 for the airport. I was promptly woken up by the caretaker at 7.30 am with hot masala chai and biscuits by the bedside. While I finished my morning ablutions, I was served breakfast of toast, butter and cornflakes and some more brilliant masala chai. It felt so amazing. A great start with amazing chai. But more importantly, its been 7 years since I left home staying in hostels, with relatives and now by myself. I have been making coffee and breakfast for myself every morning. So for a few days when I visit home or relatives or guest house with attendant, I feel totally pampered and enjoy every bit of it. Small pleasures of life :)

-----

I am writing this post on my flight between Delhi and Madras. So looking forward to going to Madras. 2 out of 4 evenings in Madras will be spent at the beach :)

A slack period

I have been pretty busy off late. Last week was a busy week preparing for these two weeks. These two weeks I am traveling on work from Bombay to Chandigarh to Delhi to Madras to Bangalore and to Bombay.

Its not that my blogging is prolific, but the next two weeks I will have little access and even lesser time. So should be back with posts by end of the month.

And junta, if you guys have any suggestions on things to do in the above mentioned places, do drop in a word. Its my first visit to Chandigarh so I'm pretty excited. In Madras, there is this new Karaoke place opened up in Thiruvamyur, so would be hopefully checking that out.

Its feels nice to be traveling again. It been a while.

Shaken and Stirred

Last week I had a minor surgery on my right hand. A 20 minute operation with local anaesthesia. I guess I am fine now as I am able to type this post out. A little nagging pain but more or less, fine.

I reached the hospital around 9 in the morning when the doctor had one look at my hand and advised a minor surgery which I decided to take it that day itself. I was not told what time my surgery was scheduled and hence I sat in the operating theatre reception room from 11 to 4, till I was called in. In that period, almost every ward boy and nurse asked me who I was waiting for. They could not hide their surprise when I told them that I was the patient and had no one with me. I guess they were not used to seeing patients, that too for a surgery, alone.

Any ways, I went in to the theatre, lay on the table, had local anaesthesia administered, chit chatted with the surgeons while they were operating on me, completed the surgery, purchased the prescribed medicines and walked home.

The fun started an hour later when the effect of the anaesthesia started to wear off. I pride myself on being able to withstand a lot of pain. A wrist fracture, a wired ankle bone, a toe surgery and innumerable muscle tears, sprains and ligament injuries can make a person capable of bearing quite a bit of pain. But that day was something different.

I was alone at home when the pain started. It was acute, sharp, piercing and unbearable. I moved from one bed to another, from bed to sofa and from the sofa finally to the floor. I decided to have painkillers but I could not have them on an empty stomach. The only thing which was there at home on that day was maggi. I somehow managed to tear the packet open with my left hand and teeth and put some maggi to boil on the stove. By now the pain had reached alarming proportions. I was contemplating morphine injections, if only I knew where to find them and get a prescription for them. The maggi was done. The challenge was now to empty the cooked noodles from the pan onto the plate with only one hand. And somewhere in this process I burnt my left hand. A minor burn. But that was the tipping point. I gave in. I yelled loudly in pain. I don't know how I finished my maggi, but I did. I took my painkillers and lay on the bed. They were of little use.

Suddenly all un-nice memories start to flood me. I remember being surprised by those thoughts as I did not even know that they existed in my unconscious memory. They made me sadder and sharpened my pain. I decided to summon my own 'Patronus' by thinking of happy memories and happy times. I did conjure up happy scenes with my friends around. But most of them were happy when they occurred then, but not necessarily now. Suddenly all those events and memories which I had locked up in the recesses of my mind and had apparently forgotten came back to me, like a deluge when the floodgates are opened.

I gave up and caved in. I was physically and emotionally battered. I guess the painkillers did have their effect in a while and I slept off to wake up the next day morning. The pain had subsided substantially. Though I had to train my left hand to brush, I did manage to make coffee and was feeling better. But the ghosts of the past had come back to haunt and that was not something that I could easily forget.

I am much better and relaxed now. But many a times, these days, the calm facade, is just that - a facade. It is similar to a duck swimming in a pond. People can only see the grace and poise, but they fail to notice the near desperate paddling happening underneath the surface. But I know - This shall also pass.

Restlessness settled!

What follows is part 3 . Read part 1 and part 2 .

Dear Anand,

I know that it would have been a huge shock to you when those divorce papers were given to you. And you have been trying to talk to me for the past month now, but I have avoided all contact with you. This last one month of solitude and soul searching has helped a lot. I felt that I was just submerged in every day events that I did not know where my life was headed. I needed some time alone to do all this thinking. Some space, if I may call it so.

You are a good kid Anand and we had some good times together. Anand, you would remember that one night, I told you about the things that I wanted the most. Some of them were things, which if I pursued, would have put a strain on our marriage. But what you do not know Anand, that there are certain things that I hated the most. Like our freakishly disciplined lifestyle.

This past one month has taught me one very important thing. Sometimes, the things that we hate the most can also become the very same things that we miss the most. Anand, I know I have made a mistake. I just hope that it isn't late. I have so much to tell you, and that is exactly what I want to do. ‘tell you'- talk to you. I can't make myself pick up the phone call you and start this conversation. (You would know that from the number of blank calls I gave you when we were dating). Just let me know its ok to call you, I will. I have an open ticket back to Madras with me and am willing to take tonight's flight. When you know that there is a better life waiting for you, you would want that to start right now, right?

Dying to hear from you.
love
Priya

She read the mail, re read the mail, re re read the mail, till she had almost memorized the words. She clicked on the read receipt option and clicked on the send mail button.

Priya shut the laptop, closed her eyes and leaned back on her chair taking a deep breath. She was livid with herself over the events in the past two months and how she had created the mess. The events replayed in her mind over and over again and she was unable to shut these thoughts out. She walked up to window, opened it and stuck her head. The icy winds of Chicago were almost piercingly cold. The sting made it physically impossible to let her thoughts wander. She had begun to like the few minutes she spent in the cold. She walked back to her laptop. She had a post ready for her anonymous blog where she had been pouring her heart out over the past two months.

A message from Anand was waiting for her. A strange feeling took over her. She was happy to have received a reply so soon, but the very thought of what could be in there, made her quiver.

Priya,

The thing I like about you most is that you were always strong willed and took bold decisions. Not necessarily the right ones always. Your decisions were centred on your happiness and what you felt was the best for you. I guess, that was fine when we were friends, and it was a small issue when we were dating. But I was sure that it would change post our wedding. Apparently not.

Kiddo, while you are in the process of soul searching, do consider what I have just said. If we are to get back together, we take decisions as 'we' and not 'I'. Having said that, this one decision whether to come back home should be solely yours.

Still Smittenly yours,
Anand

Priya picked up the phone, 'Hello, Yes hi, I have an open ticket to Chennai, India. When is the earliest availability?'

Serene

'Arun, drop me at the koil please.'

' Ma, Isn't God everywhere? Then why do you go to temples? '

'I am not goin to get into this arguement with you.'

'That is because you do not have a good enough reason. '

' Oh, is that what you think? Look, more often than not, temples are places where people leave negative thoughts out when they walk in. So the entire place is filled with positive vibrations. I feel happy when I go there.'

' Well, I cannot argue with that. As long as you do not tell me that you go there to earn religious currency, it is fine with me. If you do it to make yourself happy, thats good. '

' Good. That closes this topic. Now drop me at the temple. '
---------

Arun was reversing his car after dropping his mother, when he saw her parking her scooty. He just could not take his eyes off her. A sense of calm prevailed on her face.

She was in a hurry. She was buying 'archanai thattu', setting her hair after removing her helmet, answering a call on the cell and removing her slippers all at the same time. Yet, she seemed so much in control. Grace. Yes, that is the word. There was grace in all her movements.

Arun, parked the car and followed her into the temple. He caught her skipping as she washed her legs and walked through the hot parankallu to enter the sannidhi. A small token thoppukaranam later, she scampered into a small hall in the side of the temple.

Arun,entered the hall to find himself in the middle of a lecture,where a Swamiji was talking to the gathering which was predominantly grey and white-haired. As Arun turned to leave, the Swamiji paused and said, 'It is nice to see even the younger generation interested in our scriptures.' Arun turned back towards the hall, only to be greeted by over fifty pairs of eyes. He gave a sheepish grin and quickly seated himself on the nearest chair.

For the next 10 minutes Arun eyes scanned the hall for a her but could not spot her. The lecture ended and he was about to leave when he saw her at the other end of the room.

' Arun, what a surprise seeing you here.'

' Well, Ma, I was curious.'

'So, how did you find the lecture?'

' Well.. uh... hmm.... interesting, if I may say that.' Arun was desperately tryin to remember something from the lecture.

' Good. I am happy you liked it. '
---*--

'Ma, you are late. Let us go. '

' I am surprised Arun. I thought your interest would die down after the first lecture. But its been four weeks now and you are regular. '

'I have a question for you. After we die, depending on our karma and dharma, our souls either get moksha or there is reincarnation in some form right? '

'Well... I guess so. '

' Then, why do we regularly pray for the souls of our ancestors through various rituals when technically, their souls don't exist as their souls any more?'

'Hmm.. good question. Why don't you ask swamiji today? '

' Maybe I will. '

' I like this though. You are asking questions and you now seek to understand. This, even Arun had noticed.

Arun had seen the girl every week for the past four weeks. She must also be the philosophical kind. Today , he would speak to her.
--

'Today we shall talk about detached- attachment.' Swamiji's voice filled the hall.

Maybe she is late. The traffic is heavy today.

She never came.
--------

' Swamiji.. Swamiji..'

' Oh sorry, my child, what were you asking again? '

The disciple looked up at Sri Arun, who looked serene in his white flowing robes.

' How did you know that this was your path in life? Did you have an inspiration or a divine revelation?'

Sri Arun closed his eyes, took a deep breath, opened his eyes and replied, 'Inspiration and indication can come from unknown sources. Strange are the ways of the lord.'

Vinayaka Chaturthi

Vinayak or Ganesh Chaturthi, reminds me of my grandparents and my stay with them. I was brought up in Ranchi, Jharkhand and then moved to Bangalore, while my grand parents were always in Madras. So my interactions with my grand parents was generally restricted to the two month long summer vacations alone. (2 month long vacations... those were the days...) When I decided to move to Madras for engineering, I had the chance to stay with my grandparents for 3 years.

At first I found living with my grand parents difficult, for there were a lot of no-cannot-do things. There used to be a lot of pent up frustration, for I would never speak back or raise my voice, ever. But the longer I stayed with them, the more I began to appreciate their way of life. There was so much discipline and structure to their lives. At first I was not too fond of discipline, but when I realised that discipline gave rise to the structure, I began to enjoy the way of life.

My grandparents are pretty religious. (I do not know about myself, yet) So we used to celebrate Ganesh Chaturthi, Krishna Jayanthi, Diwali, Pongal etc at home. There would always be 'Poojai' at home. The run up to the date of the 'poojai' would be me going around the market buying flowers, 'arukam pul' (A kind of grass), fruits and so on. My granny would make the right savouries according to the function.

Among the festivals Ganesha Chaturthi was special because I would be asked to do the Poojai. I am not very ritualistic, but when I do take part, I am very sincere about it and try to do it in the 'right way'. So, on Ganesh chaturthi I would wake up early, have bath and start preparing for the poojai. I would not eat till the entire poojai was completed. I would try and do all the rituals properly, chant the mantras to the best of my abilities. Ofcourse, my grandfather would sit next to me and literally handhold me through the entire poojai. I should admit that I was pretty clueless the first year, but by the third year I was pretty good at it :)

To me, Ganesh Chaturthi was like a great bonding occasion. My grandfather would teach me the right way of doing the rituals. He would explain why certain things were done and what were the reasons. I pride myself on being the 'rational guy', so I would ask questions on the 'whys?' of everything and he would patiently explain, what he felt were the reasons. So the poojai that should take 45 minutes would take an hour and a half or more. My granny meanwhile would give my grandfather constant reminders that her grandson was foodless since dawn and that he should not be troubled so much. The poojai would then end and food would be served with those amazing Kozhakottais and jaggery payasam. But the conversation between me and my grandfather would continue onto religion, mythology, philosophy, scriptures, politics and so
on. And a few more kozhakattais would be gulped down. And then we would finally stop, because we all would want to catch a nice siesta after the heavy meal.

At the end of it all, I would be happy that I was successful in being a good grandson. My
grand father would be happy that everything went on well. I sometimes got the feeling that he felt happy also because he could pass on some of his knowledge and tradition down the family. And my grand mother would be happy that we had finished her yummy kozhakottais completely. And overall, I am sure Ganesha would have liked the way we celebrated his birthday.

I miss not being there for Ganesh Chaturthi with my grandparents. I was trying to figure out what exactly I missed? Was it the conversations, the ritual or the food. It then dawned upon me that it was a bit of everything. It was shopping for the veggies and fruits and flowers for the poojai. It definitely is the poojai itself where the grandson was trying to learn and impress his grand dad. It is the poojai again because my grandfather used to teach me with so much involvement,belief and faith that it was inspiring. And it definitely is the kozhakattais to complete the entire event.

Tomorrow is 'Ganesh Chaturthi'. And I am in Bombay, alone, missing those kozhakattais .*sigh*

Dreams

It is the promised land that I have dreamt of.

I bask in the Sunshine of Happiness; soaking-in the simple joys. Clouds of Desire shower me with the choicest of wishes. Gentle winds of content, sooth my fluttering soul.

My eyes scan the clear horizon, I see my path of purpose in front. Suddenly, I am not worried whether it is an oft taken path or a rarely taken one; Or whether I am trailing a path or pathing-a-trail. For it does not matter - Because it is 'my path'.

A voice bellows from the sky, 'Choose any one. The sun, the rain, the wind or the path. When you wake up its yours forever.' Without a pause, I shout back, ' No. Never. I do not want to stop dreaming!'

Friday Musings

I wanted to make my 'Friday Musings' a weekly thing. And given that I had written something for past 2 weeks, I did not want to break the rhythm. So I sat with my laptop in front of me for two hours last night. I started writing on some topic, deleted it, restarted on some other topic, deleted again and so on, till I was so drowsy that I slept off on my laptop.

I walked to office this morning through a light drizzle, thinking about the previous night when this thought struck me. So how does one know when to give up?

Whether it is writing a blog post, or working on a project you wanted to forever, but getting no where on it, or with certain people you wish who would listen more.

Till what time is getting out of something considered smart and at what point does it tip over to being little-too-late. When will you be called a smart guy for making the right decision and when will you have a quitter tag attached to you?

Its a complex question, atleast for me.

Friday Musings

It has been a peaceful week. I spent the first 3 days at home on a short break. All I did in those three days was eating and sleeping :)

Everybody grows up and moves out of their homes. That is the way of life. You set up your own place in a different city (or may be same) and start living your own life. Earlier (few decades ago), the postal service kept people abreast of each others lives. Later it became occasional phone call, and today the telecom revolution has ensured that I can call my mom to ask her how much salt to add for dal etc.

But whatever be the case, once out of home, you are disconnected. You have a parallel existence. And you feel this, not in the biggest family decisions (for you are involved there), but the small sundry things that you could have done. If I was home, I could drop my mom off at work and/or pick her up, so that she need not walk the awkward distance which no auto rickshaw would come. I could have been more involved in dad's projects, or maybe do the occasional grocery and veggie shopping on Sunday, so that he may get longer Sunday siestas. Or I could help my bro search for a final year project or maybe a few pointers for his preparations for the upcoming exams.

It is in this trip home that I realised that I will not be there to do any of this with the level of involvement that I was thinking of. It is in this trip that I realised that in the circle of life, I had finished a quarter. A strange realisation dawned upon me - I now have a life of my own.

Restlessness Galore!

'Priya, you are late. '

'Coming da. Two more minutes. There will always be enough time. We would still be 3 hours in advance.'

'But we never know how the traffic will be.'

'Relax, don't get worked up. We'll be in time. I am going to board the flight. If there is anyone who needs to get tensed, it should be me'

'Amma, Priya and me will leave now. I will be back by 2, 2.30. I have the keys, so you need not stay awake for me.'

'Hey, Can you wait for few minutes. We are expecting Mr. Rajamani. I want you and Priya to meet him. Just chat up with him for 5 minutes, your dad will be back anytime now. Then you can leave.'

' Ma, this is not fair.'

'It will not take more than 5 minutes. There goes the bell. It must be him. Go get the door'.

I walk to the door, visibly irritated. I was sure I was going to meet a gentleman who would be in his late 50s or early 60s. Someone who had retired recently and had moved back to Madras. He would have retired from a pretty decent position in the industry, would speak more of english than Tamil. He would ask me where I was working, do some polite conversation about the
future of the industry I was working in and then the future of India. The conversation would then invariably veer towards the horrible infrastructure and how the government is doing nothing. I surprised myself when I realised, how my mind ran through these thoughts in quick succession. Was I getting conditioned by the many polite conversations I was making at work?

Shutting my mind, I opened the door.

In front of me stood a gentleman, in early 60s. I welcomed him and was about to introduce myself when he said, ' I know who you are'. I looked at him and blinked.

As he sat, my mom walked in. She looked at me and said ' Mr. Rajamani retired as the CEO of a UK based firm. He was one the first to setup an IT company in UK in 80's and outsource work to India, long before even the word outsourcing was coined'. I could see my stereotype becoming reality in front of my eyes. Mr. Rajamani had already passed two of the items in the test. He was in early 60's and had retired from a good position in the industry.

'He also used to head the centre for promotion of Indian knowledge in London. He is a Ph.D in Samskrit and can read horoscopes'. Ahh! That must be the connection. Someone's horoscope must be waiting to be read. Some alliance to be matched. I however was now genuinely interested in a conversation with this gentleman as I had been trying to study Samskrit for years now, but had never got around to doing it.

'I will go and make some tea and be back soon.' She looked at Mr. Rajamani and he said, 'No Sugar for me please'. 'So Mr. Rajamani, I am extremely interested in learning Samskrit, as a proper course. Would you be able to help me out?'.

'You are a very lucky person'.

'Sorry?'

'You are a lucky person'.

I gave him a blank stare. It was only the stare that was blank. My mind was racing through plethora of emotions and thoughts. Did he know about my blog? Has he read my horoscope? Can he read my mind? Should I be thinking all these thoughts now? May be he can read my thoughts and know exactly what I am thinking. I should stop thinking.

'Its in your eyes. I can see the sparkle in your eyes. You are a bright person with a good heart.' So he was not talking about my blog. Or anything else. He was just commenting on my eyes. On my eyes? Huh? What does he mean by sparkle. It must be something good. And why am I thinking so much? Why is my mind restless today? What am I supposed to say now?

' It is said in the Gita', he started.

Chanchalam hi Mahabaho, Mano durnigraham Chalam Abhyasen tu Kounteya, Vairagyen cha Grihyate'

(O Arjuna, the mind is fickle and it is very difficult to control it.
Practice and dispassion are the keys to control your mind')

'It means..' He started.

'I know what it means. Why are you telling me all this now?'

'I just sensed that you are someone who is willing to listen, and won't think of me as a old man who would start a lecture at the drop of a hat.'

I eased up. For the first time, I broke into a genuine smile. My mom walked in with the tea and some biscuits.

'You are not joining me for tea?' he asked. Priya walked in simultaneously.

'This is my wife, Priya. Actually we are on the way out. She is going to US to meet her parents who are settled there. I am leaving to the airport to drop her now. Hence I won't be able to join you for tea. But we should meet soon. I would look forward to that.'

' Sure, I would look forward to that too.' He got up, walked towards me and whispered in my ears, ' Not too many people have sparkle in their eyes. You are lucky. Ensure that it stays there. Through both good and not-so-good times'.

I smiled at him and managed to mutter few words of gratitude on the complement. Both Priya and me bent, touched his feet, bade farewell and briskly walked towards the car.

I was silent as I drove to the airport. Priya gave me a poke and said, ' You sad because I am leaving you and going? Sorry.'

'Hmm.. well.. yeah... Do you realise that this is going to be the longest period that we are going to be away from each other after our wedding.

'Yeah I know, time is not going to move fast. It is going to be not-so-good-time for a while.'

We were slightly late and we scrambled towards the gate with me behind the trolley wheels now. At the gate, she turned around gave me a tight hug. Our eyes were moist.

'Priya, do you rememeber that Mr. Rajamani whispered something into my ears just before we left? He told me that there is a certain sparkle in my eyes and that I should ensure that the sparkle stays through the good and not-so-good times. so when you mentioned that the next month would be not-so-good time, I was thinking of what he told me. I'll miss you.'

'Me too. Its late da. I have to go now. Sorry.' She turned and walked away. She paused before she entered the airport, turned around and waved and was gone'.

I drove back silently. Got into my bed. The exhaustion of the day caught up with me before my thoughts could and I was asleep soon.

----

I was early to office the next day. Two meetings and one conference call later, I returned to my seat. There was a courier for me.

I tore open the envelope. The title on the first page of the document read DIVORCE NOTICE.

Friday Musings

Last week was interesting, to say the least.

We were at a company offsite in Coorg. Besides work, we spent half a day at a school for mentally challenged. Though we could not provide a lot of hands-on help (as much as I would have wanted), but I personally got sensitised to a lot of things.

Firstly,I was surprised and stunned to see around 80 mentally challenged students on rolls in that school from a radius of 5-8 kms in Mercara (Madikere) town. Somehow I couldn't digest the fact that there could be so many of them in such a small radius with sparse population density. Secondly, I realised that we take so many things for granted. The gifts of Sight, sound, speech are truly 'gifts'.

There was one thing that I found ironic. You have the sight and hence you can see a round hole and a cylinder. You have reasonably good 'intelligence' (the rudimentary form of it atleast) and hence you know that you need to put the cylinder inside the round hole. You have grasping power and control over your hands to lift the cylinder. But after all this, you dont have hand -eye co ordination to put the cylinder in the hole properly. It is cruel. It means that you can do all the individual rudimentary steps (all the hard work), and just when you need to do the last task to be successful, you fail.

As I was talking to the people who run the school, I realised the magnitude of the effort they had been putting in for years. Imagine this, you work with a student for years and prepare him to go to a normal school, and then one fine day, he just walks off. No good byes, no thank you. And he is gone. It is a thankless job. I asked them, what keeps them going? What makes them come on a Monday morning to work. (Such a corporate question, damn! ) The reply was humbling.

'It isn't work', one of them told me. Its just what they wanted to do with their lives. WOW! I wish I could have an answer like that, sometime in my life. To one of them, the most memorable and inspiring moment was when after teaching a child to read the same page for 6 months (yeah 6 months!), one fine morning was Eureka - the kid could read and understand that page. That day convinced her to carry on doing what she was.

Someone asked me once, what is the significance of 'Lucky' (fyi, I sign off as lucky). I told her that I am a very lucky person. I've a great family (parents,bro,extended family), have had a comfortable life, amazing friends, good education, a decent job, good standard of living and have had the freedom to make my choices (right and wrong). Another important reason why I am lucky is because every once in a while, when I get cynical with people and/or things around me; I seem to meet someone (old or new) who bring to light a whole new perspective. It is a refreshing and learning experience. Be it the teachers at school in Mercara, an investment banker who has truckloads of enthu-for-life, an old friend who redefines persistence and dedication refusing to give up - now in a premier B school in US, a couple who along with their corporate life have been working to empower 'aam aadmi' using RTI act, my flatmate whose enthusiasm for cooking (amongst other things) is unparalleled.

There is just so much to learn and appreciate, if one is willing to.

Tagged

A few people asked me what happened to my blog. Why has there been no post in the past one month. I insitinctly responded saying that I was traveling, or that I was working 12-14 hours a day off late. (which isn't too far from reality).

I must confess here, that being 'busy' was not the reason for not putting up a post. That was just a convenient excuse. The real reason was that there was nothing to write about. I would open my laptop and then stare blankly at it for a few minutes. I would then log onto other blogs, read them, wonder how someone can be so prolific in putting up posts and then close my laptop and go to sleep. Call it the glorius 'writers block' or any thing else, but the truth is that I just did not feel strongly about anything to write about it. And I just cannot make myself write, just for the heck of it.

So what made me write today? Well, I got tagged by Unpredictable asking me to write about 'Who I judge'. My first reaction was 'I don't judge anyone'. I guess then I am the 'nicest soul alive in this world'. Which I am not.So, lo and behold, there is a list, or actually there is one case.

I judge people who go on and on about how all other countries are beautiful and clean except India but take no personal ownership to doing something about it. They go on and on about how well the system works like a well oiled machinery in all countries except India. And the reason I judge them is because, they would follow lane discipline when they drive elsewhere, but on Indian roads they become mavericks. They would walk a significant distance to drop trash in the trash can when in a foreign country, but they would litter public places in India. To me this behaviour represents a kind of hypocracy. No one is asking them to start a public campaign around cleanliness, they just need to carry the litter around in a small bag till they can find a 'dust bin'. So what if people break rules or take the easy way out, that does not mean you do the same thing. Majority is not always right.

I get responses which go 'In Rome be a Roman' and 'There are secutiry cameras abroad or the fines are high'. I take a very very high moral ground when I reply. To me the real character of a person is displayed not when everyone is watching, but when no one is watching. I guess I am an idealist living in a realists' world. So be it.

This incident happened when in 2004. I was taking a train from Delhi to Amritsar. I had a ticket and when I reached my seat there were people already sitting there. I let them know that I had a reservation. One of them told me to adjust for an hour and that he would get off at the next station. This person was wearing some crumpled clothes and was chewing paan. (Betel leaf). I began an arguement with him saying that I had a right to MY seat as I had a reserved ticket. I felt that I had the right to sit comfortably in MY seat and not adjust with the shabbily dressed person next to me. While arguing, I looked around at the other two people around, urging them through my looks to support me. The Ticket collector walked in at that moment, and guess what, the other two people walked away because they did not have tickets, while the shabbily dressed person had one.

I felt so small and cheap at that very moment. I don't think that the other person figured out that I was judging him by his appearance, but all my self erected high grounds and moral standards came crashing down. Ever since that incident, I try hard, very hard, not to judge people. I am very conscious of not judging people that I often do not read into words/ actions/ behaviour. But thats fine by me. I wouldn't say that I was as bad as Madhavan's character in
Anbe Sivam, but I definitely had/have a few of his characteristics. I am not the most principled person around, and I am the first person to admit it. But of the few principles I would like to live up to, not judging people is one of them.

(All those who think Tamil movie industry is represented by Sivaji alone, just watch Kamal Hassan's movies. Or actually just grab a copy of Anbe Sivam and watch it. I promise you it would be a revealing experience. Atleast you would become more appreciative of Tamil movies)

But, there is a but

I wish to see large joys in small things,
but my vision blurs 3 feet ahead.
I wish to be a poet creating romantic scenes from regular experiences
but neither spring nor rain inspire me anymore.
I wish I could fly; rise up high in the sky
but right now I am searching for my guardian angel to take me along.
It is a mundane existence with little inspiration
but I wish, something good happens for a change. *sigh*

English Tutorials

'So you are going for dinner with Anand ?'

'Yes da, why do you ask?' Priya was standing in front of the mirror adjusting her hair for over half and hour now, worried whether Anand would like her new hair cut. He had made a passing comment that he had a thing for women with short hair. She had not forgotten it.

'Obviously you like him. Why don't you tell him'. Jai was visibily bored. He really did not want to answer her question of 'Do you think he will like it? ' Again.

' I will da, in a few weeks. I am sure both of us feel it. It is just that we have not said or asked each other formally'. Anyways what is the hurry? Its a lot of fun now also, right? . Now , move out. I need to change.' She pushed Jai out of the room.

------------

Anand checked his pockets for his purse, car keys, cell phone, house keys. He latched the door behind him as he completed the check. ' So where do you want me to drop you? IIT gate?' Anand asked Raj as they climbed down 2 floors.

'What? I thought I was also part of your candle light dinner plans? I am sure the table is big enough to accomodate one more person. And its not like the two of you are dating ? ' Raj had a wide grin on his face.

'Wipe that smirk off your face, Raj. I know where this conversation is leading to. The answer is yes, I like her. But I do not know anything more than that.'

' So let me help, loverboy. You obviously like hanging out with her. You are this athlete, the star cricket player. And out of nowhere you join a salsa class. You then start watching romantic movies. Dude.... '

' Hey.. hey.. just because I like You Got Mail, it doesn't mean I like the entire running behind the trees kind of movies. Meg Ryan was awesome in the movie dude. Diddn't she look amazingly cute in that short hair cut?. Now let me concentrate on the road.' Anand backed his Zen out his compound and joined the traffic.

'Thank God Anand. you cleared that doubt. I though you liked it for Tom Hanks or may be Brinkley'.

'Brinkley, who?'

'Brinkley, Tom Hank's dog. The Golden Retriever'.

' Shut up Raj. I will just push you off my car now. You can hitch your own ride'.

-----

Jai dragged himself to the swing in the balcony, and sat their staring out into the sea. Priya's 11th floor house presented a terrific view. The sea breeze had set in. He could smell the salt.

'So Priya, How many wickets did Srinath take in yesterday's match?'

' Jai, nice try. Srinath retired two years ago. My knowldge of cricket is better than yours ok? Don't even try.'

' If you want to impress Anand, tell him that you have cut your hair like that dude from Bihar'.

' For your information, that dude's name is Dhoni. And my hair is shorter than his and obviously better. Shut up now.'

' So, did you feed Anand with the stuff you made after your cookery classes. I heard he fell sick.'

' Yes. Anand loved it. Especially the penne pasta and...'

' Poor guy, I don't think he could have said anything else. He knew very well what would happen to him.'

' Oh please. Anand really liked it. I could see that. And just so that you have your facts right, Anand had a bad cold and fever the next day and it had nothing to do with the food. He had it earlier, it just got worse.'.

' Ha..ha.. ha. Anand told you that? And I am sure you believed him. Anyways, do you know that according to a recent research by one Dr. Jai, consumption of penne pasta can cause cold and fever. Especially when cooked near the sea at a height of 11 floors'.

' Look, I spoke to him that day. He really had a bad cold and fever. She opened the door and stepped out. 'And please remind me again, why am I having this conversation with you'
Priya was looking gorgeous.

-------

' By the way Romeo, do you know that statistics show that India has the most number of guys who like a girl but have not expressed their love.'

' Thanks dude. I diddn't know that. We've reached your stop. Take care and be good. I'll catch you next weekend.'

' I get your hurry. Fine. I know when I'm not wanted.'

' You suck at emotional blackmail. You need to learn from Priya.'

' There you go again about Priya. Go, she'll be waiting. Byee'

' Shit, I'm already 10 minutes late.'

------

' He needs a lesson in Chivalry. You never keep a lady waiting. He is 20 minutes late.'

' Lady? Who , what , where?'

' There, that must be him at the door. Had it not been for him, you would have got whacked. You should be thankful to him for saving your life'.

' You are late, 20 minutes late. whats your excuse mister?' Priya stood at the door guarding the entrance.

Anand looked at Priya. She always looked stunning when they went out together, but today she was charming. He was half thinking and half mumbling.

' Uhh.. Priya, you have got to take English tutorials for me. I seem to have run out of words to describe how amazing you look. seriously.'

' By any chance Anand , are you making a pass at me?'

Anand stepped closer to Priya. ' And what if I tell you I am'.

Priya was blushing. He leant forward and kissed her cheeck. A few seconds of staring at each other was followed by a long kiss.

' Ahem.. ahem... I seem to have a bad throat problem you see.' Jai said clearing his manufactured throat irritation. ' You guys might want to get yourself a room to avoid catching my disease. Its contagious'.

'Oh hi Jai, diddn't see you. Sorry' Anand was embarassed.

'Well, I can see why. I don't blame you. what do you say Priya?'

Priya gave Anand a small punch. 'Anand, that is the worst possible pickup line, one can ever come up with'.

' Well.. It worked'.

Sea

Standing on a beach, just staring at the blue expanse gives me a sense of tranquility. I go quiet and deeply contemplative in the vicinity of the sea.

My association with the sea started when I was three or four years old. I stayed in Ranchi, the current capital of Jharkhand. Come summer and I would make an annual pilgrimage to my grandparents' place in Madras. These days, the heat seems to be unbearable, but as a kid I remember, I would love those trips to Madras, the long train rides and sitting on 'red-oxide' floor with grandparents. I would do the ritual of relative hopping over the 1.5 months that I would spend in Madras. Regardless of the age of the cousin I was visiting, a trip to the beach was a given. Marina beach, Santhome beach, Gandhi Beach, Chepauk beach.

If the uncle I was visiting stayed nearer to the sea then we would go the the beach early in the morning, have a long splash in the water followed by a good breakfast at Saravana Bhavan/ Geetha Cafe/ Drive-in Woodlands and get home by 8ish. Else we would make an evening pilgrimage to the beach. But beach was an integral part of all summer vacations.

When I moved to Bangalore at high school stage, the proximity of the city to Madras meant that I would make more number of trips a year but the length of the trip would be shortened from anywhere between 2 days to a week. Short trips meant that I would invariably have to skip the beach :(

The draw of the sea, I guess to far too powerful. I returned to Madras to pursue my undergraduation. Those four years were, what I would call my 'growing up' years. In this period, I started making sense of the world around me. Some 'sensibilities' set in and if I may say I was slowing figuring out my bearings. My constant companion was the sea. I have spent hours on its shore. Sometimes it was to ogle at gals, sometimes to catch up with some old friend(s),sometimes catching up with special friend(s), sometimes just hanging out with people and a few times hanging out alone; with myself. And never has the sea been unwelcoming. The beach at Besant Nagar has seen my many phases. Its been a silent witness to my 'growing up'.

Now I am in Mumbai, and the sea still beckons. It has been a year since I moved to Mumbai, but I haven't been able to find my way to Marine Drive or Juhu beach more than once or twice. And whenever I did manage a trip in that direction, I always had something else to do, so I never got to spend time on the shores. But I made amends last week. I was sitting on Marine Drive post a sumptuous Gujju lunch at my friend H's place and a tiring 2 hours of scavenging through the second hand book shops on the road side. As usual I was in a contemplative mood. I caught myself reflecting on the one year I had spent in Bombay and the way it had just flown by. The sun had set and the yellowish orange tinge was slowly engulfing the sky. The waves were mild, trying to gently climb the wave-breakers. The sea visibly quiet; tranquil. It seemed to be telling me ' Ah, there you are. Welcome back. I've missed you!'

The picture above was taken on my mobile. This is view of Walkeshwar/ Malabar Hill side from Nariman point.

Need perspective!

I was reading this recent article from 'The Dawn' on why the corporate sector lags behind in Pakistan. This article is extremely crisp and compares certain aspects of the economy in Pakistan with India. I want to draw attention not to the economic aspects but to a statement which I am quoting here from the article.

' The swadeshi (self-sufficiency) movement was integral to India’s independence struggle. It protected indigenous industries, helped them grow organically and created pride in the “made in India” label. '

I always thought that We (India & Pakistan) had an independence struggle. It never crossed my mind that India had a separate Independence struggle and Pakistan had one of their own?

I am not cynical here, but can someone (possibily from the other side of the fence) give me the perspective that I am missing ?

Remorse, Regret!

It was around 1 pm and Bombay was literally burning. It was 40 degrees centrigrade and very high humidity levels. I was traveling in an auto to a friends place for lunch. I was reading the Mint, a paper I have beginning to like a lot.

We stopped at the signal and I could see that it was going to be a long wait. I was immersed in an article, almost forcefully, to take my mind off the discomfort of feeling a sticky shirt against my back. An old man walked in rags walked upto me. I could see his movement from the corner of my eye. He walked up to the auto and put out a begging bowl. He did not say a word, but just looked at me. I took my eyes off the newspaper and looked at the bowl. I looked up at him and then almost non chalantly looked back into the news paper. He lingered on for that split second and then walked off. As he walked away I noticed him walking barefoot on burning concrete.

It is then I realised the mean-ness of my action. I had so coldly ignored a fellow human being. May be he did not merit my charity (for what ever reason) but he definitely does not merit being treated like a non entity.

If only I could turn back time.

Niceness Recharge

This is going to be a post where I know the reason of the post but I have not thought about what exactly to write.It is just a feeling that I am trying to pen down .

This post is about a very good friend of mine H and his fiance D. I don't intend to write a eulogy (though, they would be pretty deserving recepients), but I intend to just bring out one observation.

Whenever we go out to some place to dine, they seem to know what is good in that place and which of their friends/relatives had mentioned that. It does not stop there. They try to pack up the item mentioned(if possible), for the person and they give it to him/her that very day itself.

It is a small gesture, but it leaves the other person with a feeling of being remembered and with a smile extending from the corner of one eye to the other. And, their 'magnanimous attitude' goes beyond food too :).

Whenever I need a 'nice feeling' recharge, I guess I know who to meet.