Of memories and constructs

Two years ago, I argued vehemently with a colleague that Bihar and UP and Chattisgarh and Orissa will not remain Bimaru (backward) states forever. And change was in the offing. I had no framework or theoretical construct to explain this. Neither was I an astrologer or a soothsayer. . I just felt so. And I was duly dismissed as a romantic optimist, ever hopeful at heart.

I was lucky that as part of my work, I got to not just travel extensively to some of these states but also interact extensively with people across the entire socio economic spectrum. In fact in many a cases I got to life their lives for a day. And somewhere through all these conversations I felt the atmosphere was charged with hope and optimism. My argument was along the simple lines that there is development happening elsewhere. In Gujarat, in Delhi, in Madhya Pradesh and media and mobile phones were bringing the news of progress into the houses of people in these Bimaru states. I remember the analogy I used. Its like the habit of a man-eater. Once the people of have tasted blood (development here), you just can't wean away them from it. Of course to the left brained, analytical MBA, ‘I feel so; did not work. And I was unable to come up with anything better. I did not have an answer then to the question of why Bihar or UP or Orissa would vote against caste lines.

But today, my feel seems to have right. I seem to have caught the trend. No, I do not claim to be the only person who would have sensed this trend and no I am not writing this for ' See, I told you so' speech'. I write this today because I found a simple construct in corporate jargon to possibly explain this phenomenon.

Consider caste or language or religion as verticals running in the society. The matter when Identity politics are called up. Consider issues like defence, safety and security and other issues in national consciousness as horizontals cutting across the society. So regardless of which vertical you belong to you cannot escape the horizontals (national consciousness). Now, education, access to healthcare, performing governments any many such developmental issues have been added into horizontals.

Ok. The explanation is not mine but it is from Nandan Nilekani's book Imagining India. I have just finished the preface and am already captivated by his constructs. Of the many books on India I've read off late, this seems to be the most interesting of the lot. Should be a good read.

My earlier post on this is here

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For the past three years I have noticed this phenomenon in Bombay. This happens in regularly in month of May and I don't know why. At sunset as if suddenly all our eyes have magically activated orange filters, that so far lay dormant, the entire city is coloured orange-ish brown. No, it is not just the buildings but also the air. It is the gentle orange tinge and sepia, one that evokes a sense of nostalgia of the good times gone by. The memories from your past of innocence come flooding back. On one such evening, as I sat sipping my coffee, memories from my childhood, those carefree days came rushing back to me. I had no idea that I had such strong and vivid memories of my kiddie days. My indulgence with those memories lasted a few minutes. I blinked intentionally, transitioning from the distant past to the present in an instance skipping 18 years in between, when I realised that the night had fallen.

The orange phenomenon lasted precisely four days. While google and Wikipedia answered my questions on why this phenomenon occurs ( taking my back to Optics chapter in Grade 12), I don’t think I will be able to ever answer why this phenomenon evokes such memories and why it possibly has a different or even no effect of others.

Friday Musings and celebration

I don't know if anyone ever thinks of existential questions like the purpose or the raison d’être of his life or man in general, as much as I do. ( I mean amongst people like us and not philosophers). These thoughts are triggered for many reasons but this one picture which I took sometime ago often inspires many moments of poignancy.

It was taken in Kerala just off Thiruvananthapuram taken one late evening. I don't know if the picture makes it clear here, but it is the point where an estuary is flowing into the Arabian sea. I am standing on one of the banks of the rivulet looking towards the sangam and the sea. It is the point of ultimate confluence.

There are two ways of looking at the point of confluence. One is that if it is inevitable that the river will end in the sea then does she (the river) have any choice or control over her own fate. The second way, is to define the purpose of the river is its confluence with the sea (Matrix style) and hence do your best to fulfill that purpose.

My question is not which of the two arguments I believe in, but which I believe more in. Someone asked me why is it important to know the answer? Or why is it even important to think about these questions.

I don't have a clear answer? I think the answer possibly lies in our innate tendency to seek out the origins or the sources of everything that we observe around us. To understand 'The Why'.May be it is similar to the spirit in science where we all are in quest for finding out the most fundamental of principles from which everything can be explained. Or it could be explained better by our dogged determination to understand the Big Bang. While today we claim with reasonable certainty that we know what happened 1 picoseconds (10 to power minus 12) after big bang but still, we are not satisfied.Or maybe it could be likened to the countless yaatras we take to Gangotri, Yamunotri or Tala- Cauvery. (Sources of Ganga, Yamuna and Cauvery). I think it is not so much as to see or touch the source but more so in the philosophical hope that behind(or beyond) the source lies something so pure, so pristine that it is almost other-worldly.

Ultimately, I guess it boils down to one's curiosity (jigyaasa).

I am reminded of the opening track in Shyaam Benegal’s ‘Bharat Ek Khoj’ which used to be aired in Doordarshan in late 80s. The entire series is up on YouTube. I cannot tell you how thrilled I was to discover this. I am overwhelmed with Nostalgia. The link to the title track is here.

As an aside, the title track asks very interesting questions and the ending track here tries to answer them.

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Over the weekend, my closest friend graduated from one of the most prestigious schools around in the world. She is now an MBA. She is currently celebrating her moment of triumph, half way across the world and I can sit here in front of this laptop, only wishing I was there. But I can claim for sure that that I am happier than she is.

Almost half a decade ago, more than that, in fact 6 years ago, around this time, we started preparing for our MS/ MBA together. While we soon gave up on the MS dream, MBA and IIM was the only thing we wanted for ourselves. We would spend hours preparing, attending classes, writing mock tests etc. Both of us were driven by the fact that we knew that each of us were capable of so much more and nothing but the best was good enough for us.

I got plain lucky when I cracked CAT in my first attempt, grabbing admits from all IIMs and having the luxury of choosing where to go. She did not make it the first time around. She slogged her ass off for the next year CAT and missed out narrowly. Agony! She then decided to apply to the US B Schools along with writing her CAT. It wasn't the easiest of times. A job that she hated yet had to work 12 hrs a day and many weekends; GMAT, essays, SOPs, interviews and the likes. I remember that 2006 was a year that she strived and struggled. But, I guess it all worked out fine. She got to say no to Stanford and GSB Chicago (if I remember right) in favour of Wharton. And by the way, she was the youngest member of her graduating class.

She graduates this year with a finance major and finds herself right in the middle of this economic conundrum. Guess it is ordained that she can't get things on a platter, but I am not too worried. I know she will get that what she wants, albeit a couple of months late.

As for the reason why I say I am happier than her, I will paste an excerpt from the email that I sent her..

I remember fondly the days when both of us started our preparation for MS/MBA together. Those days were fun :). While I got plain lucky, you just made your own luck. So somewhere I feel that the little dream that we hatched out for ourselves, sitting in that Sanatorium house, has been achieved in full measure. The incomplete happiness that I felt when you did not make it to the IIMs has dissolved.

So I am celebrating this occasion and everyone is more than welcome to join the party!

This and That

It is difficult to let go.

There are people who would not want to get attached because it hurt when you have to move on. By attachment I don't necessarily mean an individual but it could be with an idea, a book, a city, college, job etc. I do not shy away from getting attached. It aches when bonds are broken but when you are so attached but the beauty of the relationship is anything but enhanced.

But today, I see the flip side of getting attached. The relationship seems well past its prime, (which I desperately hope against) but I am affected by how things are between my friend and me. Admittedly it is has not been the best in past few months but I am caught between wondering why it can't get better to whether I've reached dead end.

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It hasn't been a great month in terms of news. I heard that a good friend of mine is getting divorced just two years into his marriage. Now without going into where things went so wrong, I am kind of affected. This friend's wife (or ex-wife) would possibly match most of the criteria which I would have for my partner when I decide to get into the matrimonial arena. So this incident has left me thinking.

I believe that purity of purpose and intent (of being together) should be the moral compass than any hallowedness being attached to the institution of marriage. Am I being too idealistic? Are we pulling the emergency exit button a little too soon?

I guess when it rains, it pours. Another friend of mine just called off his relationship with his fiancé, just when the family had started talking to each other to fix wedding dates. And an acquaintance’s wedding was called off 2 days before the wedding-date because the girl felt she wasn't ready to get married. And this was after 7-8 months of courtship. Hmmm..

Anyways, I know that enough number of couples exist who are living their happily-ever-after dream. So nothing can be generalised (both good and bad incidents). However, the 'bad' incidents used to happen to someone who I would have never heard of. Today it is in my own circle.

And all of the above occurred in the past one month.

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And somewhere in the midst of all this I turned a year older. I have derived a strong correlation between age and number of people who come-over/call at midnight. The older you get the number of people who come over and / or call at midnight declines significantly. So also there is a trend observed on decline of calls and shift towards sms, facebook/ orkut scraps. All ominous signs of growing older J

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Come June and I will be done 3 years in Mumbai. 3 years in my first job. Whoa! When and how did time slip off? Ok. Now I realise that this post sounds whiny. So I stop here. I am planning course correction get some more activity back in my life. I intend to be out in the Ghats almost every weekend once the rains start. Junta care to join?

By the way, I was looking through calendar for the year. In end September and early October, I noticed that If I take 7 days off I get 16 days break. (Thanks to Ramzan, Dassera and Gandhi Jayanti). So I can plan for a long vacation. People Suggestions? Open to both domestic and international locales. (Note: I am a budget traveller)