Rear view mirror

This is part two. Please read part 1 here.

It was a long flight back for Diya. She did not like long flights. She could never sleep. She always felt that if she dozed off, there would be no one to fly the plane. 'And anyways, all airplanes have this strange smell', she would argue. She would take longer time to recover from the airplane experience than even jet lag.

All the passengers were sleeping. Hers was the only reading light on. She was looking through pictures of her childhood. Those days seemed so far away in her memory. Everything was one big blur. Of course she remembered a few instances which were etched in her memory, like when she was 10 years old and was taken sari shopping with her mom and aunts. She had liked a bluish green sari and asked her mom to buy it for herself which she promptly did. Or this other time when she was 16 and her cousin who was 14 had just 'come of age' and was regaling her with 'non-veg' jokes, sitting under the shade of water tank on a hot summer afternoon. She remembered one and let herself give out a half smile.

But as she looked through most of her other old snaps, she realised that she remembered when and where the pictures were taken but nothing much beyond it. Maybe it was just her current state of mind. She fidgeted with her book, her ipod and her albums spending equally less time with all of them. She knew that soon, she would start thinking of her mother and how to handle/ react to whatever situation that she would face when she landed. It would have been so much easier if Dave was with her now. But she knew he was right. ‘It is your family and you need to confront them. Plus its the worst time for me to meet your family for the first time.'

She caught herself thinking that something might happen to her mother while she is on the flight? She quickly dismissed the thought, telling herself to think positively and quickly sent a prayer upwards to her 'ishtdevata'. She wondered whether the prayer would reach Him faster as she was already up in the air. Her mind quickly shifted to her father. How would he react? A quiet man, he was complete contrast to the other three members in the house. Her mom, brother and she were loud, always talking and gossiping. At nights, they would sit in the kitchen discussing and dissecting the events of the day while he would sit reading his paper or business magazine. He was unassuming and a man of few words. But off late she had started to realised that she seemed to be more like her father in her thought process. And the more she thought about it, she realised that her dad, in his own silent way, had left more impressions on her than she had earlier realised.

'We are now entering Indian airspace', the captain's voice suddenly crackled through the speakers. She could almost feel the 'collective homecoming' of all the passengers around. As the plane aligned itself for landing in Chennai, she could spot the coast line and outline of the Coovum river. Her mind immediately registered the Coovum smell. It was instinctive. Years of train travel had taught her that Basin Bridge and Coovum smell meant that Central station was just a minute away. But that minute would seem like eternity.

The sudden jolt of the plane landing reminded her to switch on her blackberry. She heaved a sigh of relief as she read 'Amma normal - out of ICU' in the subject line. She looked out of the window as the plane taxied itself to its bay. She couldn't control the stream of tears that were flowing down her cheek. And this time, she did not want to.

She let her suitcase fall as she gave her brother a big hug. 'She's fine?'

'Yes she is. No problem at all. Out of ICU - in regular room. Under observation for a week.'

'What exactly happened? '

'A not too mild but not too serious kind of heart attack. A clot. Plus her diabetes complicated the operation a bit. I don't know too many details. I landed from few hours ago myself. You can ask appa. We are going to the hospital directly.'

‘I don't know how to face him. Is amma conscious? I can't face both together.'

'Yes she is conscious, I spoke to her. And you aren't going back after travelling half way around the world without meeting them, are you? Things would be uneasy first; but they would be fine. Don’t worry akka, you are after all their daughter. So tell me, how long you here, how is Dave?'

But Diya was not listening. She was watching the streetlights in the rear view mirror, wondering if those streetlights were actually closer or in fact farther than what they appeared.

She sat at the common area of 4th floor. She made her brother sit with her, in silence. She did not know what to do next.

'Appa..' She stood up.

'Go see amma. She is awake.' There was no smile or anger in the voice or on his face.

She walked steadily towards the room, opened the door and walked in holding her brother's hand. Her mom lay there in her nighty. She was sitting up and looked straight at them.

'Amma..' Her voice choked as tears flowed down her cheeks.

'Why have you come now? '

'Amma.. I know you are angry.. and you are right. I am sorry... '

'You hurt us. And what you did embarrassed and disgraced us. And you turn up today, after you hear that I am in the hospital. Where were you all these months, when the heartache you caused hurt more than this silly heart attack? I want you to turn back and go away. '

'These are your first reactions. I will talk to you later. Don't get agitated now. It is not good for you. I'll go now.' Diya turned and opened the door.

'Diya..’

‘Yes amma..’ . Diya turned around, with a big smile. Her mom had called out her name.

‘Sometimes life never gives you a second chance’