Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Mental Connections

Mind is an amazing thing. It travels faster than light and takes up to any place instantaneously. And it is virtually impossible to control. In Gita Krishna says

'Chanchalam hi mahabaho mano durnigralam chalam!
Abyasen tu kounteya vairagyen cha grihyate!! '
(The mind is very fickle and difficult to control. The only ways to control it are through practise and dispassion)

How I got thinking of this was when very recently certain incident reminded me of something similar in the past. And that reminded me of the person associated with it. Then next my thoughts moved on to other memories of the person to other incidents to some unrelated incident in childhood where I jumped off a tree to some train journey to a friend telling me something (lost touch with that guy 5-6 years ago and have never thought of him since then)
to a whole lot of things. Later when I tried to recollect those thoughts quite a few of them failed me.

I dont know if I'm the only person who thinks like this. But off late the memories of incidents and people aren't exactly the ones which makes me smile.

Friday, January 13, 2006

The Ultimate Inevitability

In the famous Yaksha Yudhishtir Samvad in Mahabharata, Lord Yama in guise of Yaksha asks Yudhistir many questions which Yudhistir answers with wisdom. Each of these answers can be explored in depth individually. Of the many questions, I found one very poignant.

Yaksha asks Yudhistir 'What is the most absurd thing in life?'
(Please excuse my crude translation)
Yudhistir answers 'We see millions of people around us die yet we never think we will die'

Death has had a sobering effect on man since eternity. Every culture has evolved its own rites, rituals and beliefs about death and life after death. Death is inevitable. Its the rule of nature and law of the universe. Its cruel and decisive.

Yet the concept of death has inspired man. Man has always tried to do things that would conquer death. The Great Pyramids, the Taj Mahal and many many more examples can be cited which have been expressions of man to 'conquer death' in the way he knew best. Death gives us limited time, a deadline so to say. Death makes us question things. Death makes us ask 'why are we here?' . Death scares us. Death inspires us to think, to create, to acquire knowledge, to question, and all this possibly so that we may leave a legacy. Ultimately death humbles us.

So death or rather our mortality is probably the ultimate source of inspiration for humankind.

I would also like to leave behind a legacy in the footprints of time knowing very well that they would be blown away by the winds of change. (Even legacy is mortal!)


Monday, January 02, 2006

Farewell Grandmom.

Thursday Dec 29. 11.26pm
My cell rings in the middle of my heated discussion on whether to spend my New Years Eve at Mahabs or Coorg. It’s my brother. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a thought crosses wondering about the timing of the call but that’s quickly brushed aside and I pick up the call.

'Hello Kaushik, sollu’
' At 9.45pm Patti expired, dorai periappa just called' (Patti = granny)
'Oh!'
'Amma will call and let you know the details later'
'Ok'

Not too many thoughts crossed my mind at that time. In a little while I went home and early next morning my dad, mom and I drove to Chennai. It was a long and quiet drive with intermittent attempts at conversation. It is during this drive that I tried to recall my memories of my grand mom.

She passed away at the ripe age of 92. That’s a long life and a fruitful life I think. Add to that, 11 kids (8 sons and 3 daughters) umpteen grand sons, grand daughters and even great grand children. (Phew! that’s my family!) I am told that at one point at home in Chidambaram (a small town in Tamil Nadu where my dad and his family grew up), there were 16 people going to educational institutions at various levels from kindergarten to University. (Chidambaram was center of education and many relatives' kids stayed over with my grandparents for education). 16 is some number. Cooking and serving 3 meals for everyone would itself have been an industry. Breakfast, packing lunch, dinner, monthly festivals, relative visits etc... WOW!

My memory of my grand mom is limited. (I kind of regret it now). By the time I was of an age where I could remember distinctly my grand mom was already 80+. She was not the typical kind of grand mom we hear about who would make savories whenever I visited her in my summer vacation but she made sure that savories were available for me whenever I visited her. I vaguely remember her trip to Ranchi in 1987-88 (I stayed in Ranchi from 1982-94) and her one trip to Bangalore in 1995.

She was the oldest person I knew. Yet at her age she used to do all activities herself. Cook, clean utensils, sit on the floor and eat etc. She had never suffered a single serious ailment her entire life. She loved cricket and had been following it for 50 years. I visited her 2 weeks before her death (she was extremely weak and in a pain) and the first thing she told me was 'That’s no way to treat a captain. One should respect people for contributions and bring Ganguly back.'
Till her end, she had amazing memory. She remembered people very well and enquired about everyone. No one was insignificant or unimportant to her. She remembered faces and names really well. I have always wondered how she managed. Imagine 11 kids their spouses, family of all those spouses, second cousins, one and two - off cousins and their families. I could definitely learn a thing or two about networking and people skills from my granny.

Every person who came to Madras would visit my granny once atleast. Being the eldest, people would always seek her advice on traditions, rituals and customs among many other things. Never have I seen my grand mom impose her views on anyone. She always gave her opinion and left it there. May be this is why she was respected and loved. She gave directions and left it to individuals to take it up. Her greatness probably lies in the fact that she could let go of things. As we grow older, things are taken away from us. That’s part of life. It could be health, money, power, relations, importance and so on. So, we try hard to hold on to whatever we have. Here, I know of a person who learnt to let go knowing very well that she would get whatever she deserves. And she did. As love.Respect.Reverence.And care.

Thanks patti, for everything.