Farewell Grandmom.

Thursday Dec 29. 11.26pm
My cell rings in the middle of my heated discussion on whether to spend my New Years Eve at Mahabs or Coorg. It’s my brother. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a thought crosses wondering about the timing of the call but that’s quickly brushed aside and I pick up the call.

'Hello Kaushik, sollu’
' At 9.45pm Patti expired, dorai periappa just called' (Patti = granny)
'Oh!'
'Amma will call and let you know the details later'
'Ok'

Not too many thoughts crossed my mind at that time. In a little while I went home and early next morning my dad, mom and I drove to Chennai. It was a long and quiet drive with intermittent attempts at conversation. It is during this drive that I tried to recall my memories of my grand mom.

She passed away at the ripe age of 92. That’s a long life and a fruitful life I think. Add to that, 11 kids (8 sons and 3 daughters) umpteen grand sons, grand daughters and even great grand children. (Phew! that’s my family!) I am told that at one point at home in Chidambaram (a small town in Tamil Nadu where my dad and his family grew up), there were 16 people going to educational institutions at various levels from kindergarten to University. (Chidambaram was center of education and many relatives' kids stayed over with my grandparents for education). 16 is some number. Cooking and serving 3 meals for everyone would itself have been an industry. Breakfast, packing lunch, dinner, monthly festivals, relative visits etc... WOW!

My memory of my grand mom is limited. (I kind of regret it now). By the time I was of an age where I could remember distinctly my grand mom was already 80+. She was not the typical kind of grand mom we hear about who would make savories whenever I visited her in my summer vacation but she made sure that savories were available for me whenever I visited her. I vaguely remember her trip to Ranchi in 1987-88 (I stayed in Ranchi from 1982-94) and her one trip to Bangalore in 1995.

She was the oldest person I knew. Yet at her age she used to do all activities herself. Cook, clean utensils, sit on the floor and eat etc. She had never suffered a single serious ailment her entire life. She loved cricket and had been following it for 50 years. I visited her 2 weeks before her death (she was extremely weak and in a pain) and the first thing she told me was 'That’s no way to treat a captain. One should respect people for contributions and bring Ganguly back.'
Till her end, she had amazing memory. She remembered people very well and enquired about everyone. No one was insignificant or unimportant to her. She remembered faces and names really well. I have always wondered how she managed. Imagine 11 kids their spouses, family of all those spouses, second cousins, one and two - off cousins and their families. I could definitely learn a thing or two about networking and people skills from my granny.

Every person who came to Madras would visit my granny once atleast. Being the eldest, people would always seek her advice on traditions, rituals and customs among many other things. Never have I seen my grand mom impose her views on anyone. She always gave her opinion and left it there. May be this is why she was respected and loved. She gave directions and left it to individuals to take it up. Her greatness probably lies in the fact that she could let go of things. As we grow older, things are taken away from us. That’s part of life. It could be health, money, power, relations, importance and so on. So, we try hard to hold on to whatever we have. Here, I know of a person who learnt to let go knowing very well that she would get whatever she deserves. And she did. As love.Respect.Reverence.And care.

Thanks patti, for everything.