Monday, June 02, 2008

Answering Machine

It was a chilly Saturday evening. It had been snowing intermittently for over two days. Diya thought that it was quite abnormal for November. The weather gods had decided to be more benevolent today. It hadn’t snowed since morning. The roads had been cleared, the snow shovelled neatly to the sides. Diya and Dave decided that they would move into their new house today. They had spent close to 3 months searching for a house till they had chanced upon this one. Dave could not fathom a life in an apartment. 'Where will I play with my retrievers?' and Diya wanted a house from where she could feel the presence of the sea. Having grown up in a small apartment just off Besant Nagar beach in Chennai, sea had been her constant companion of many a year. The closest they could get to these requirements was a villa that had a backyard from where you could see the lake at a distance.

'But Dave is a nice guy ma!'.

'He is not one of us. He is white. An American. We cannot get along with him.'

'If one wants, we can get along with anyone.'

‘Don’t give me philosophical and idealistic answers. We live in a real world. He eats fish, meat and all those things. How do you expect me to live in a house where such things are cooked? Diya don't tell me you are going to cook non veg.'. There was a look of disgust on her mom's face.

Diya had rehearsed all these conversations innumerable times in the 16 hour flight from Newark to Chennai. She knew her parents well enough to know that she had no hope in convincing them. She had met Dave in her second year of Masters. She had taken up teaching assistantship with the same professor under whose guidance Dave was doing his Ph.D. They had met at the professor's house for Thanksgiving dinner. It wasn't love at first sight, but there was something attractive about him. The dinner was followed by a Broadway show, couple of movies, lunches, dinners and in two weeks time Diya knew that she was hopelessly in love with him, despite of all her efforts against it. She would lie on the bed at night, her thoughts oscillating wildly between how girly she felt around him and what this would mean at home.

She spent that Christmas at Dave's home in DC and in three days time she was like a foster daughter in the house. Dave's parents doted more on her, and this made Dave envious. She found Dave’s envy cute but she ensured that she enjoyed every bit of the attention that was being showered on her.

All through her 16 hour flight, she rehearsed every possible conversation, opposition and all her responses. She wanted to be patient and not loose her cool.

Yet something snapped within her. It was not what her mom had said, but the look of sheer disgust.

'I rather sit out the next 5 hours at the airport than in a house where people do not understand me'. She walked into her room slammed her door and walked out half hour later with her suitcase. No one tried to stop her. As she dragged her suitcase down those stairs, her brother Deep ran behind her, snatched her suitcase off. 'Go tell a proper bye to ma and pa. We'll go to the beach and then I will drop you off at the airport.'


Diya's thoughts were broken by the creaking sound of the garage door. 'We need to fix that horrible sound, Dave.' She said almost involuntarily. 'Still thinking about your family? Cheer up! We are entering our new home now. Smile!'

'Yeah, I am sorry.' She got off the Prius, wiping her tears of her cheeks. She skipped across the porch quickly, opened the front door after fumbling a bit with the keys and took a few steps into the house and stopped. She could see the living room, the guest room and the winding staircase to the first floor. A bluish black light lit the house. It seemed to be a curious mix of light from the heavens and street light filtered through the glass ceiling over the staircase. It seemed mystical. Dave's footsteps over the gravel made her aware of his presence. She shook her head, forcing herself to break off from her thoughts, wiped her moist eyes, switched on the lights and turned towards the main door and forced a smile.

'You ran in too soon. Did you see how beautiful the silhouette is, and the light reflecting off the lake?'

'Stop. .. Step in with your right leg …… ' .Her voice trailed as she realised what she was saying. She looked up at Dave who stood with one leg in the air at the door. She collapsed on to her knees and broke down sobbing.

'Hey Diya, this is Priya. .. I didn’t know that you were in the marriage market.' Priya sounded excited, disappointed and was feigning feeling of being hurt. It was as though she had been purposely kept out of a secret dealing.

'What do you mean? What are you blabbering?' It was not even April Fools day. She could trust Priya to play some prank. Priya was Diya's cousin, just six days younger. They had grown up together in Chennai and now were in US pursuing Masters. Priya lived within a 4 hour driving distance.

'Don't feign innocence. My mom just called me and asked me to checkout your profile on the matrimony site. Because of you now my parents are asking me to put my profile up. When did you agree? What about Dave? '

'Send me the link over mail. I will check it out and give you a call back. Bye! '

Diya was fuming by the time she read her own profile. She reached for her phone and called up Dave.

'Hey honey, wassup?'

'Dave, will you marry me? Can we get married in August, as soon as I finish?'

'What? What happened, Are you alright?' There was a discomforting silence. 'I mean.. I don't mean in that sense of being alright... You know what I mean right? 'This is too sudden and surprising… I am so happy you are thinking in about marriage... but what happened? Are you alright?’

'Yeah I am. Let us meet today for dinner and talk.'

Three months later, on a Saturday evening, Diya called home. She had stopped calling home. Only her parents called her once a week. She did speak to Deep everyday online to know what was happening at home, but she never called. She knew that it was a Sunday morning and her folks would be out for a walk along the beach. Predictably, she got the answering machine.


'Ma, this is Diya. I know this is going to be a big shock. I just called to say that I am getting married to Dave tomorrow. I don't know if I am doing the right thing or not, but after seeing my profile on the website, I just felt that I did not have a choice. I will miss you folks .... And .. and.. I am sorry’. Click.

Dave kneeled next to her, put his arm around and whispered into her ear 'You should call up your mom and speak to her.'

'But what will I tell her? What would I talk to her about? How do I even start the conversation?' Diya was almost yelling. 'I just left a message last time on the answering machine. I did not even tell her myself that I was getting married.' She was now crying uncontrollably.

'Why don't you leave a message again in the answering machine? Pour your heart out. That’s a start. We'll take it from there. '

Diya saw merit in what Dave was saying. The answering machine enabled her to converse with her mom yet avoid a conversation.

She checked the time, it would be Sunday Morning. She called her home, with one finger on the disconnect button, ready to hang up if someone picked up the phone.

'We are unable to take your call. Please leave your message, we will call you back'. She recognised her own voice from three years ago. At least this one thing had not changed.

'Ma.. I don’t know what to say ... How to start’. She was sobbing. 'I am sorry.. really sorry.' The silences were broken by her intermittent sobs. 'Today, I have grown so big that I am setting up my own home ... away from home. I don't know when I grew up.. I know I have been a bad daughter.. I don't know if you would forgive me.. I hope you will.. I don't have the guts to call and talk to you.. or face you.. but i know that you will get this message.. Even if you don't forgive me... I want to talk to you once.. Just once.. '

Dave's mobile rang out aloud. He gestured to Diya that he was stepping out of the house to pick up the call.

'Dave speaking '

'Dave... Dave.. This is Priya here.. Where is Diya? I amr unable to get her phone.'

'She is here. . on the phone.. Can I take a message?'

'Dave.. Dave.. Its Diya's mom. She isn't well.. I don't know what happened.. She is admitted in the ICU since yesterday.. She may not survive.'