One from the Sorting Hat

Last two-three weeks have been quite hectic. My work made me cris-cross the country and big meetings (in which I was a small fry) ensured that I had enough work to burn the midnight oil for close to two weeks at stretch. And somewhere in midst of all this, I managed to make a trip to Tirupati. And what is more. I climbed up all the way. This is my second time that I have climbed up. We (Clicking Eagle, my bro and I) made it up in record time of 2.5 hrs or so. I was surprised at my own fitness levels. I have stopped playing/ gym-ing in the past 3 months and show visible signs of sloth.

I have been asked about my prayers. What do I pray for? What are my most secret desires? Did I have a mannat that I climbed up the entire way? The answer in all honesty is that I don't pray for myself. Somehow I can't get to pray for myself. I think God or supreme consciousness (which is more likely) shouldn't be bothered with my petty wishes/ desires or troubles. He has bigger problems like world peace, starvation deaths, ecological crisis etc to deal with. No seriously, I am not joking. I remember quite clearly that for the past 10-15 years that I have been visiting temples, churches, gurudwaras or mosques, I always talk to the spirit of the place to help me keep my faith in ' Whatever happens, happens for the best'. The rest I feel, I should be able to handle for myself. Righteous living or dharma and my belief in karma and divine justice should hopefully see me through.

I do visit all places of worships and even have a few favourites. If so many people believe that visit to that particular place will bring them good and make them happier, my visiting that place can bring me no harm. I guess the spirit of the place makes me feel nice and that helps me plough on longer.

My beliefs about prayers notwithstanding - I pray with whatever sincerity I can muster for my friends and family. This time I prayed for a friend so that she may get a job very soon. I also prayed that a family member finds the inner strength and peace he seeks and something for my parents. I hope they all get happiness in whatever they choose to do.

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From Tirupati, I drove down to Madras for a day. We had a big family function in Chennai to celebrate my grandparent’s 60^th wedding anniversary. Yes, you read that right, 60th wedding anniversary.

My grandparents are part of a big family and close to 100 people turned up. It was fun. We had a small pooja in the morning at home and post brunch around 11, had organised a small one hour session – Fond Memories. Friend and relatives of my grandparents who have witnessed the past 60 years in various capacities spoke about their memories of the wonderful couple. It was enchanting. Brothers, sisters, children, nephews and nieces as spoke about the various facets about the special memories that they cherished. It was a wonderful morning. My grandparents have been on cloud number nine for the past week.

My grandfather is the eldest of 5 brothers and 3 sisters. The age between him and the youngest sibling is around 22 years and that between him and the third child itself is 10 years. As I sat there listening to his brothers and sisters speak, I realised that all of them considered my grandfather as a father figure. He was the person who took all his brothers and sisters to school on the first day, reprimanded them when they were mischievous, helped them get admission into various colleges, filled out their forms, prepared them for interviews, dropped them off in college the first day, was there to pay their fees when needed, searched for brides and grooms for them and help them settle in life. He guided them wisely amongst the severe constraints that existed and helped them choose their job and career. My grandmother was the quintessential wife standing with her husband always. She ensured that no one would ever, ever go to bed on an empty stomach. She was always there for the kids/family members to talk to whenever needed and appropriately petitioned my grandfather for special favours and requests.

Their life story was an eye-opener for me. For the first time I heard how food shortage in 50s and 60s forced them to shift houses out of the city or how he had given up a career in defense at the request of his father so that he could stay back and guide his brothers and sisters. Or that he was in Pune in 1945-49 and that he had seen and heard Nathuram Godse deliver a few speeches. His house was small but heart was large. My mother fondly recollects her childhood where 7 of them (5 kids plus grandparents) lived in a house which was all of 400 sq ft. And it was never them alone. There would be at any given time 3 or 4 other family members at their place. For the first time I understood in real life the meaning of 'sthithapragya' - one who is steady and unruffled by caprices of fate. On a particular day, my grandfather was in the hospital attending on one bed to his dying brother-in-law and wailing sister and one floor below to his other sister who was in labour delivering a baby girl.

As I heard all of them talk, one after the other, I realised that he has a small but sure hand in everyone's success today. (Everyone includes the wide extended family). In his generation, we were poor to lower middle class with English based education and willingness to work long and hard as our only assets. Over two generations we have all moved from poor/ extreme lower middle class to middle class to upper middle class guided by my grandfather's firm belief in education and righteous living. (Everyone in the extended family is a graduate - women included - and this is way back in 60's/ 70s) In their own words, he instilled in them confidence to face the world and gave them a home to come back to where they could be themselves. In his closing speech he accepted the complements gracefully and in all humility mentioned that he was just doing his duty as the elder most member of the family. I cannot think of any other measure that can define a ‘successful’ person, more than enabling others around them to face the world and eek out an honest living.

I have learnt so much from him. At times I feel terrible that I did not put the 3 years I spent with him during college to better use. My memories and inspirations from him are reserved for a separate post but I must mention something relevant in the current context.

In the ancient Gurukul system, when the boy would sit with the Guru for the first time, he was taught a pledge that would be kind of guiding principle of his life. This is something my grandfather made me memorize in entirety. He insisted that I live by the first three lines alone and that would be enough. Those lines went like.

Satyam Vada| Dharmam Chara| Swadhayayam ma pramadah|

(Speak the truth| Walk the path of Dharma| Never stop working on self improvement(physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually etc )

As I was writing the part above on my belief in dharma, karma and divine justice, I realised how much they flow out of the above three statements that I seem to have internalised. I consider myself truly LUCKY to have been mentored by such an extraordinary person.

Edited to add: I am appalled and ashamed. I have no excuse for the terrible grammatical errors in this post. But as a principle, I shall not edit once published